Sometimes I even ask myself if all this has really happened, if its pictures dwell in truth in my memory, and not merely in my imaginatio-Jules Verne

So much has happened in this past month. On Sept. 25 I anxiously waited form my OB to call me with the pathology results. I was expecting him to tell me that the baby dies due to a chromosone issue or that the test were inconclusive. I was ready to accept either. I had made peace with the fact that my baby was gone and I was anxious to get new that it would be ok ttc again.

That night I waited by the phone and my OB called at 8pm. He had devistating news. My baby was completely healthy. My body was the culprit. The pathology report suggested CHI. Chronic Histiocytic Intervillositis. Dr. Gallo hadn't seen it in 25 years. He told me that CHi suggests poor fetal outcome for future pregnancies. I was in shock!!! Now what? He suggested I see a Reporductive Endocryologist. I made the appointment with Dr. Cho and waited four weeks to see him.

I don't think Dr. Cho is convinced of the CHI. He is going to see my pathology slides himself. He also ran test for RA and Lupus which came back negative. I the CGI does exist than it can be treated with steroids, but there is no guarentee. I asked him today if he would treat me and he said no, a rhumatologuist. I am so confused. i thought I didn't have RA. I am stating to think that I am seeing the wrong kind of Dr. Maybe I should be seeing an MFM Dr. I called Dr. Alvarez office to get some information. According to his nurse he has see CHI and has treated it. I have an appointment at the end of November. More waiting!!!! I was hoping to ttc by now. Looks like it won't happen until next year!! This is so frustrating. I wish I was pregnant. Maybe if I was pregnant it would be easier to wake up it the morning. I wouldn't be thinking "oh, I would have been 26 weeks today"

I also found out that the baby was a boy. We named him Angelo or Angioletto meaning little angel. We burried his ultasound photos along with his teddybear under our favorite fig tree in the back yeard. My mother hung a rosary beads and a wind chime on the tree.



I love you baby boy... I will never forget you