Friday, December 5, 2008

"Out of difficulties grow miracles"- Jean de la Bruyere

I am hoping that this weekend we will start to grow our miracle. It’s been three months since we lost our baby. I feel like I am ready to start trying again, but I also feel like if I get pregnant I will be moving forward and leaving our baby behind.
I don't even know if I can get pregnant. The first time we tried for two months, than I bought an OPK and we got pregnant on the first try. What are the chances of that happening again? I did by an OPK. Our neighbor’s daughter works at CVS and she gets 30% off so I had her pick me up one. I stated testing on Wednesday. Noting yet, but I don't I will ovulate until Sunday or Monday. I know my body has changed since the D&C. I feel different mentally and physically. I am not having panic attacks anymore and the anxiety isn't as prominent as it was. My period are shorter and lighter, Cramps aren't as terrible, I am sleeping better, even orgasms feel different! I wonder if it’s the thyroid medicine or maybe the extra B6 and B12. I don't know if this will affect my fertility. I am scared to find out. I have such high hopes for this weekend. The last time I got pregnant, it was a weekend in May and we had spent the Saturday evening with my best friend and her husband. They had just moved into a new condo and it was the first time my husband and I had be invited to dinner. The ironic this is that we haven't really seen each other since than, and they just happen to be coming over for dinner this weekend! Maybe they are out good luck charm!! It is also our 8th anniversary on Tuesday. We are celebrating it on Sunday. We have appointments at the Fountain Spa in Ramsey. Half hour Jacuzzi, side by side massages, he is getting a facial and I am getting may nails done! It should be wonderful. I am hoping that the combination of my best friend coming over, our anniversary, and a relaxing day at the spa and a stress free atmosphere will help us conceive our miracle anniversary baby.

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