Pathology report

I just go off the phone with my RE, Dr. Cho and I am more confused now than ever. I have been waiting 3 weeks for him to go to UMDNJ to review my pathology slides with Dr. Heller. Dr. Heller is the pathologist who has also reviewed my new friend BB's slides. Dr. Heller sent BB's slides to Dr. Boyd in Boston. Dr. Boyd has done research on CHI. Dr. Heller and Dr. Boyd have consulted on BB's case, so Dr. Heller has experience in CHI. WEll, Dr.Cho spoke to her and the consensus together was that I got a viral infection when I was pregnant which caused the baby to pass, which than caused my body to react and attack the placenta. If this is true than than this is great news. I just have to be tested for viral infections and hopefully it can be treated before the next pregnancy. I should be very excited, however my gut is telling me something is wrong. Knowing that CHI causes poor fetal outcome and reoccurs 70% of the time, why would Dr. Heller put this on my pathology report and than later on says it could have been viral. I asked Dr. Cho if CHI caused the miscarriage and he said no, CHI shows a possible viral infection. I thought CHI is... not shows... maybe i am putting too much thought into this. Why can't I just believe that everything is going to be ok. What if I do get pregnant and I miscarry again and it turn out the reason was CHI and I didn't do anything to prevent it. I think I would feel ashamed, like a failure because I didn't do everything in my power to prevent it. Because I wasn't aggressive enough, because I trusted my Dr.'s...Uggh...I am so frustrated!!!